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The only way to make a long distance relationship work is with trust.
Absence makes the heart grow stronger (or so they say).
Let me just get this out: Long distance relationships (LDRS) suck. We were in the same time zone, but 10.5 hours away by bus (more, if there was traffic). I’m not going to lie, the first couple weeks, I sat in my apartment wondering how this was going to work out. Nearly a year and a half after we began our long-distance relationship, we both said “I do” at a small ceremony in Texas and moved to a tiny apartment in Japan together.
Between the phone calls, Skype calls, and text messages – you have absolutely no way of knowing what they are doing. You have to trust they will tell you if their affections are wavering or if they are tired of the relationship.
[For more, check out: The Four Stages of Long Distance- Surviving the Separation] This is where trust comes in. There are certain physical cues that phone and Skype calls just cannot convey.
Six months after my then-boyfriend and I became “Facebook Official,” he was on a flight back to Japan. While he was studying abroad in America we met and fell in love… I followed him to Japan, doing a year study abroad in Japan.
only to have my heart ripped out when he returned home. But before we said “I do,” we had almost two years of long distance, trying desperately to make it work. But, as luck would have it, I ended up at a school 10.5 hours away, by an overnight bus.
Two months after my future husband (but then-boyfriend) returned to Japan, I did what any love-struck college student would do.
For the next fourteen months, we did a long-distance relationship.
But I also think absence makes the heart go wander (clever, I know). I’ve noticed about 1/3 of the time it is justified, and the other 2/3 is just crazy talk. it’s just that distance makes people do crazy things.
I’m going to move across the country just because.” Long distance isn’t a chosen path, it is usually thrust upon you with the choices. And as hard as long distance is, it works just as long as both parties would rather be in a long-distance (albeit a crappy one, with scarce communication and trust issues) than broken up. Long distance relationships require even more trust than a regular relationships.
When you see each other several times a day, you is gone.
But if you are reading this, you probably want to go ahead with your long-distance relationship.
After all, no one actively decides “hey, seeing my significant other every day is overrated.