Horny we chat id - Dating after becoming a widow
My current boyfriend was shocked when, after we first made love, I told him that all I wanted in a relationship (at the time) was a "friends with benefits" situation. After he died in 2013, I figured I was done with sex.
It had been a year and eight months since my husband had died; my sex drive had recovered, but my heart was still hibernating. He'd been my high school sweetheart, my first and only.
I'd been my husband George's caregiver as he'd succumbed to cancer. If you'd asked me then, I would have said that I'm fifty, I have 32 years of memories, I'm not interested in sex. I thought I might get a cat, once I was ready to take care of anything again.
What I got instead was an unlikely best friend who'd helped me look after George.
When I told one of my girlfriends about my new sex life, she said, "Good for you for getting back on the horse!
"Another friend said something I took to heart: that as women, we can claim our pleasure without shame, that our sexuality is a gift to be proud of.
I went from expecting to be done with sex, to having an intense physical relationship, to experimenting in a way I never had when I was younger, and finally, to being with someone I love.
I was tired of having experiences for their own sake.
Within a week I'd stopped dating anyone but my boyfriend. My reawakening since my husband died really surprised me.
The idea that we "should" only have sex within the context of a serious relationship was an antiquated judgment to be disregarded.
And I agree, despite being raised conservatively by a widowed father who taught me that nice girls say "no."I eventually ended things with my friend. Fourteen months after George died, I decided I was ready to date. I did what I felt like regardless of any potential for a relationship. His opinions on sex apparently varied greatly when speaking to a 50-year-old widow as opposed to his teenaged daughter.
My friend was a movie buff, belonging to several film societies. He'd stop by my house some evenings "to avoid rush hour." A few months after George's death, things between us became physical.
My brain was still deep in mourning, but other parts of me were in overdrive, reminding me that I was still alive, healthy and up for fun.