We had a sweet little beach wedding a year after we met.And we've been together ever since; we've been happily married for 19 years.

I wasn’t sure if I bought that, though, so I sought out eight couples who went head first to find out how it worked out for them.

Are the chances of relationship survival really the same, legs open or closed?

Experience has taught us women, more times than not, that sex-too-soon equals hungover regret, not long-lasting relationships.

And that’s the thing: If we’re sleeping with a man, we probably/hopefully like him, and we want to see him again.

(Of course, sometimes we do it for the fun, the thrill, or sheer physical need, but that’s not what this is about.) Alas, even if it’s not our rule, and not our world, why risk ruining everything?

When co-authors Andrea Syrtash and Jeff Wilser sent me a copy of It’s Okay to Sleep With Him on the First Date (out this month), I was excited to learn their theory, which basically says that if the chemistry is there, the to-bang-or-not-to-bang dilemma “doesn’t really matter.” They argue that as long as you’re cool, smart, and lovely, a man doesn’t care/notice if you give it up after two margaritas or two months.

Nina, 34, nurse I knew this guy peripherally through the hospital. One night we decided to hang out, and a few hours and few drinks in, I realized I actually really liked him.

On the hundred-something first dates I’ve had, I’ve been taken to Burger King, the car wash, and an NA meeting; I’ve left after five minutes, cried after six drinks, and engaged in many unladylike things. Sure, there are many smart, justifiable reasons to wait (STDs, comfort zones, intimacy issues, etc.), but simply put, I think we don’t want to fuck it up by fucking fast.

(Or rather, in the name of journalistic integrity, not that I can remember.) I’m not sure why sexually liberated women like myself, and most of my friends — women who enjoy intercourse, who browse Coco de Mer, who talk about size and performance like weather and traffic — still live in this lame, antiquated fucking-on-the-first-date fear cave.

The entire relationship and its progress felt natural and organic after that.

It was all very simple and lovely, and I think that mentality was directly related to our pure and uncomplicated sexuality from the start.