We’ve since agreed to communicate regularly throughout the day.

Riva said if she wasn’t up by in the morning to wake her up and bring her meter to her.

Now I do that, and get to say that ‘love is throwing used test strips in the trash can!

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I also asked what I could do that would support her since I was clearly told hovering over her meter wasn’t it.

’ As a partner of someone living with diabetes, having things I can do makes me feel in some small way that I can help her manage it. Like the time we were visiting friends and Riva had just swum in their pool.

When she’s going through a difficult time because her blood sugar levels aren’t cooperating, I know I can’t do much, but I can listen and give her a hug. Lying on the bed, she began to shake and asked me very quietly to go downstairs and bring her a glass of juice.

We were friends for a dozen years before we got married and weren’t spring chickens when we took the dive. Of course Bou, short for Boudewijn, knew I was living with type 1 diabetes, but he didn’t know it in a close-up, personal, intimate, day-to-day sense. So I told Bou what he could do that would support me: point out new things he reads about diabetes, or listen to me when I’m having a “bad diabetes day.” Deciding to carry glucose tablets in his pockets when we go out for a walk was his own lovely idea.

He was on a learning curve for the first few years of our marriage. Early in our marriage, Bou thought standing with me over my meter in the morning while waiting for my number to appear was being supportive. A friend who was recently writing a diabetes article asked Bou for a quote about how we make our relationship work with type 1 diabetes in the mix. Perhaps some of his thoughts may help you if you have a partner with diabetes.

The Riva View We were already engaged when I said to my husband-to-be, “If you want to reconsider, I’ll understand.

Marrying someone with diabetes will not be easy.” He wrapped his arms around me and said, “You’re with me now and I’m with you, and that’s all that matters.” I have a loving husband.

I ran down those stairs so fast I nearly broke my neck and ran back up them, gave her the glass, and, yes, hovered.

Sometimes when I would be away on business and call and hear the phone ring and ring and ring, or she didn’t answer an email, I would be terrified she was lying on the floor from a low.

Actually the learning continues still, so take heart. The Bou View I have always accepted that diabetes is just a part of Riva, like the color of her eyes or her curly hair.

While not a conscious act, I think acceptance is an act of loving someone.